Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family – (2013)

(Cycle A readings: Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; Psalm 128: 1-2, 3, 4-5; Colossians 3:12-21; Matthew 2:13-15, 19-23)

            Let’s talk about family. How many people here at some time of your life have been a part of a family, raise your hands. It’s hard work to be in a family.Families may not be easy, but we know that they are essential for becoming fully human. Families are, first and foremost, the place where God is encountered, where faith is given flesh, where our theories of justice are tried out, where our prayer is made real, and where our dreams are actualized.

            Families are so critically important because they reflect the nature of God – our God is a God of relationship, and our family is the most basic and essential human relationship we will have. It is the place where we share the joys and the struggles of those we love more than anyone else – where we have this realistic engagement with others in the difficulties, tensions, and celebrations of each others’ lives.

            This feast of the holy family presents a challenge to us to make our own families holy, just as THE holy family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph was. Now raise your hands if you have been part of a HOLY family. There are many fewer hands up than before. Why are we so reluctant to recognize OUR family as a holy family? I think there are two reasons why that might be so.

            First, maybe our definition of holy is a little skewed. Vatican II tells us that to be holy is to discern and do God’s will in everything, to be wholeheartedly directed to the glory of God, and to be of service to our neighbor. It’s about our fidelity to God and to each other.

            Second, maybe we get too hung up on the particulars rather than the attitudes and attributes of what it means to be a “holy family”. Families come in all kinds of variations and configurations – and being holy is based on the Council’s definition: to discern and do the will of God, to be wholeheartedly directed to the glory of God and service to our neighbor. That’s the basis for a holy family.

            The letter to the Colossians is a good example. If you read for the particulars, you can get hung up on the “wives be submissive” thing. That was a particular for another time – and not a prescription for ours. But earlier in the letter is where the path to holiness is laid out: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and on top of it all – love.

            So here is my suggestion for the next week – maybe as a way to approach the new year? Take one of those qualities each day and find ways to express that quality in your daily, ordinary living. Talk about those qualities – brainstorm in your family about what you can do to live them. Or, for those of you who are really ambitious, make each day of the week the day for that attribute: Monday is compassion day – each Monday perform some act of compassion within the family or together as a family. Tuesday is kindness day, or have “forgiveness Friday” – you get the idea.

            The heart of Christianity is the transformation of the ordinary into the holy – that is the lesson of the Incarnation that we just celebrated. Being in a family is no easy job – but discerning and doing the will of God, wholeheartedly directing ourselves to the glory of God and service of neighbor should be our goal. Living lives of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness will put us on the journey to make each of our families a holy family.